Bosworthian Blues

One thing I may need to do before my mandatory geek viewing of Superman Returns: watch Blue Crush. Why, oh, why? Because it is the exact kind of movie that could endear me to Kate Bosworth.

See, everyone's all excited about Superman Returns and I...can't muster it. And I feel this is a shame, because the trailer looks sweet, Bryan Singer is awesome, and early buzz has it as a comic book movie that Gets It Right. And yet? Can't muster it. And why? Kate Bosworth.

This seems so petty when I say it out loud, when I cast my narrowed, gimlet-y little eyes at the otherwise cool trailer. Let me try to explain.

I have a certain irrational hatred for certain actors. And if y'all really look deep into the very blackness of your souls, I do believe everyone has That One Actor that they cannot stand for no good reason. Like, hating Paris Hilton is easy. But hating, really hating, one of those B or C-Listers and not being able to articulate why, exactly? Fun...but not so easy. Anyway, as you've probably gathered, I irrationally hate Kate Bosworth.

I think it really crystallized on two separate occasions: first, when Entertainment Weekly put her on the cover for no good reason, except that she's kind of pretty and has different colored eyes, and second, when she ruined Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!

Tad Hamilton is one of those movies that I should have loved instantly, a soothing guilty pleasure balm to re-watch on DVD when I'm just not in the mood for a blow 'em up good flick or a pretentious Sundance hit. I adore Topher Grace. The premise is cute. But I simply could not enjoy it, because the whole time, all I'm thinking is why is Topher so, so into dumb, blank-faced Kate Bosworth (she does not have seven smiles, Topher!), when he could have her much cuter, much more interesting best friend, played adorably by Ginnifer Goodwin? Watching Kate Bosworth in this movie is like eating a mayonnaise and saltines sandwich. Without the mayonnaise.

She's dead-eyed, people! She's not even interesting enough to be annoying, a la Mischa Barton. She is mediocrity personified.

And, well, fine. Whatever. But then they had to go and cast her as Lois Lane. Lois Lane, ace reporter! Lois Lane, sassy brunette! Lois Lane, who is not a Bosworthian blank slate, who is not just a girlfriend/arm prop character! I'll cop to caring more about Lois than Superman himself -- I dig certain versions of Supes, but Lois, with her sharp edges and hungry ambition, is the character who made the bigger impression on the childhood me. I worshipped the Margot Kidder Lois Lane. I like the Teri Hatcher/Erica Durance versions well enough. The image of Bosworth donning brunette locks and trying to look "serious" gives me hives.

And yet...despite my deep, deep hatred, I really don't want to be one of those comic book fans: the ones who decry a beloved character's casting before they actually see the movie and can properly judge. Remember when Hugh Jackman got cast as Wolverine? Remember how we all found the dorkiest possible picture of him starring in Oklahoma! and posted it on the interweb with some snarky caption, perhaps using "snikkkt!" in an ironic way? Remember how Famke Janssen's hair wasn't red enough? Remember how Anna Paquin was too young? Remember how all of that seemed stupid once the movie came out and Hugh and Famke and Anna rocked it? (And yes, I am purposefully leaving Halle Berry out of this equation. I still gotta have fan bitterness about something.)

So here's what I'll do. I'll watch Blue Crush. It's girly and teen-y and probably something I will enjoy. I'll keep an open mind throughout. I'll give Kate a shot.

But if she's a lame Lois and blank slates all over that gorgeous art deco scenery, I will be pissed.

Comments

[saffron]

Got here via my LJ friendslist - and while I am more of a Batman girl than a Superman girl, the female love interest/foil in comic book movies has always interested me a little smidge more than the superhero - and I heartily agree with your assessment of la Blahsworth.

I say revel in your irrational hate - "sparky" is the not something I associate with her, and something I do with Lois, and if she's being cast to spoonfeed a clueless audience into just loving her because she's pretty and 'safe', then Brian Singer missed the memo.

Exactly how much do you know about the premise of the Superman movie? Because if what I read about the characterization of Lois is true, the casting seems even more ludicrous.